0:00 – Intro Music
0:26 – Affirmation:
“I will persist until I succeed. I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny. I will persist until I succeed.”
- Og Mandio, The Greatest Salesman in the World.
1:00 – Intro to Declan and Confidence Coaching.
- Confidence Coach
- BUCoaching: The ‘BU’ stands for “Be You” – the purpose it to show people how to be themselves. The key to confidence coaching.
- People tend to hide who they truly are by hiding masks and pretending to be someone they’re not. It’s important to not hide you are, and this is vital for building confidence.
3:10- Confidence and “plorking”
- As kids we had lots of confidence and weren’t afraid of being who we are.
- We’re all born confidence and we lose that over time
- It’s important to find a way to enjoy things that we do and find joy in our daily activities even if they are just mundane chores and things that aren’t always enjoyable.
- Joyful enthusiasm is important
- “Plorking – playing at work”: Brian Tracy. Infusing fun into the work that you do.
- Jason Goldberg – “Playful Prosperity”
5:45 – Building Confidence in People
- Recognize that confidence is a feeling and it comes from within. It isn’t tangible. Sometimes the tangible things that we want are all coming from internal feelings. The tangible things aren’t necessarily going to satisfy those feelings unless you recognize said feelings.
- Emotional intelligence training can assist people in sorting out their feelings.
- The outside world does not make us feel certain ways, it’s the way we react to it. Everyone reacts to things differently, and it’s up to you how you feel about something and the importance that you take away from it. Outside influences don’t have to control you.
- Emotional intelligence is underrated. Everything comes from within first.
9:17 – Building confidence in children at school
- Emotional intelligence isn’t taught at school. All we’re taught are skills and IQ.
- We should teach kids the needs of life, how to manage life, how to communicate and how to enjoy life while at work.
- Instead of always rushing right into work or school, it could be useful to take time to figure out what it is that we want to do with our life. Enjoy life for a bit at first.
- All change starts with conversation, and questioning if there is a better way of doing things.
- There’s always a different way, and there’s always potentially a better way.
12:02 – Declan’s Mission
- Declan hopes to affect a trillion people in the industry with his business and with his message.
- The greatest gift that we can give people is the ability to be themselves.
- Saying that he hopes to affect a trillion people, Declan feels that this shows that he wants his platform and his message to be something that can be continued on through multiple generations. By empowering individuals, you create a ripple effect that can be spread on to more people over and over again.
- Scale doesn’t matter. Your purpose doesn’t have to be grand or ambitious, but it has to be genuine and something that matters to you. You want to give back more than you take in your life.
- The life is a mix between growing and giving. It’s important to have a balance of both. It’s important to add value to others in while also taking care of your own needs.
18:37 – The Start of BUCoaching, and the importance of finding a coach.
- Life is always happening for us, not to us.
- Declan believes there were moments in his life that set him up for what he’s doing now. There are moments in his life that put him on the path to his platform.
- He was the first male in his family in five generations to not be military or police force. From birth he felt like he was being trained for the military. When he was around 17 years old he went to the military but was turned away because he’s asthmatic. At the time this was devastating for him.
- He became depressed and would emotionally eat due to stress of no longer knowing what he would do with his life and became overweight. Once he realized he was not longer at a healthy weight, he wanted to change that, however he didn’t work on becoming more confident or changing how he felt about himself, and therefore started losing weight in an unhealthy way. He lost 80 pounds within one year and developed an eating disorder. He was so focused on his image, and not focused enough on his mental and emotional state, he was never happy with his progress. He became too hard on himself and the speed in which his weight loss progressed and kept pushed himself too hard in changing the way he looked. He could never find happiness within himself.
- It was the love and respect that he had for his mother that pushed him to start getting better because he realized how deeply his condition was affecting his mother. The way he thinks and feels about himself affects not only himself, but the people around him.
- He needed to be asked what he wanted to be in life.
- People are always so eager to run away from pain that they never get to pleasure. People are so focused on what they don’t want, they don’t ever think about what they do want.
- You need to figure out who you are, and what you want for yourself.
- “Eat the shit that you sell.” If you don’t believe what you’re putting out is good enough for yourself, it’s not goo enough for anyone else.
- Thriving is internal. It’s how you feel about your life, the external doesn’t matter.
- Asking for help is important. Looking for a mentor is not a weakness, it’s smart.
- “Help me” are two powerful words that can change your life.
- Learning never stops. To be the best, you need a coach to be the best. You don’t have to do things on your own.
- There are several different methods when it comes to helping people. Whether it be coaching, counselling, or psychology, these are all areas in which they are trying to help people. They can be used together as a combined process, since everyone is different and responds to different things. Fit the process to the person, don’t make the person fit the process. There is not such thing as one band aid solution.
- “When we care as much about our results in life and happiness as we do about the results of our favourite basketball team, we will hire a coach”
- John Maxwell “When you find your why, you find your way” – find your motivation, find your reasoning for doing what you do.
- It’s easy to see all the things that are going wrong, without realizing all the things that are going right.
- You can be directed towards change and growth, but it’s ultimately your own decision how you change, and the level of change you achieve.
- One of the greatest crimes we can commit towards someone is saving them to see. Don’t jump in and save people right away, they need to sit in their struggles and find their own way out, so they can learn and grow on their own. Gives them their own sense of accomplishment and empowerment.
- Every tragedy is an opportunity.
34:55 – The human brain and emotional survival
- As human beings we are wired to move away from pain.
- We become good at avoiding pain and what we don’t want.
- Your brain’s job is survival not happiness. It will trade happiness for survival. It’s up to you to change yourself so you can find happiness.
- Emotional surviving – just getting by. Just accepting that “this is just what life is” Don’t just settle for emotional surviving.
- “Don’t just remove the weeds from the garden. You also have to also plant and water the flowers.”
- Mission is not to just grow for us, but to learn and grown as a society.
39:39 – Pride
- People get mistaken between pride and arrogance a lot. It’s a strength to be proud of yourself and not letting yourself get torn down.
- It’s important to be proud of yourself, but you also need to be humble enough to ask for help.
- Pride when practiced right is very beneficial not only to us, but also our loved ones. You need to help yourself before you can help others.
- Pride is self-care.
- Pride is about noticing what is going well, and what’s right, and what changes you’ve made that you can be proud of. Recognizing how far you’ve come, and what you’ve become.
- Pride is an aura
- Declan is most proud of his marriage and relationship with his wife. It’s something they’ve both had to each work on, and they’ve grown a lot as a couple. He’s also proud of the movement he’s created with BUCoaching. He feels it’s more than just as business venture, it’s now a movement that they’ve created.
48:50 – Where can you find Declan?
Website: BUCoaching.org – https://bucoaching.org/
Facebook: BUCoaching – https://www.facebook.com/bu.coaching.org/
51:08 – Outro