Let’s Talk: HELP ME!

On the tails of the Bell Let’s Talk Campaign, I have been newly inspired.

I am RJ Horner!  I know who I am! I know where I am going! I know what I am doing to get there!

That didn’t happen over night.  That came about after long years of recovery of a disease that I had little control of but I later learned is curable or at least manageable.

I want to help people realize that life is a journey & that they are totally capable of living a peaceful, happy, almost blissful life.  It is hard to believe when you are in the depths of despair, but life can & will get better, if you let it, maybe even help it along.  I am living proof that life will get better.  I am not the same angry man who started this journey 6 years ago.

This article represents the struggle that people have to go through in changing their behaviour & attitude.  It is a struggle to believe.  It is a struggle to even believe a different life is possible.

So…Let’s Talk:  Help!


Used together these are two of the most powerful words in the English language. If you find yourself in a position where you need to use them these words will get you what you need. These two words when uttered together will change your life. They will bring about change on such a grand scale that you could not measure its results. These simple two words will take away much of the pain you are experiencing. These two short words will bring the world to your door, carrying their tools willing to create a foundation to help you build up your dreams.
That’s why you would dare to say them out loud in the first place. You are in a place you would have never experienced before. You are in the worst place of your life, someplace that many can never imagine, and most would never wish to be. You are alone, failing and falling, there is no one you can turn to, or so it seems. This is the place and the time to ask for HELP, if ever there was one. YOU NEED HELP!

Look up, just for a moment. You will see the faces of those who will help you out of the depths in which you find yourself. You see, right now you have dug yourself into a ditch that is unrecoverable (alone). You cannot see any way out of this hole, but there is. Even if you have chased everyone in your life away there are people, maybe even near you right now, that will help you, if you are not too afraid or too obstinate to use those powerful words.
If you are anything like me, you have been told for a considerable amount of time, that you need help.
“You are angry.”; “You are chasing everyone away.”; “You are hurting those closest to you.”
These are but a few, such words may be making you feel horrible and worthless. These are the signs that life as you know it is coming to a head. Life is about to get a whole lot worse. This is what I call the ‘safety net’. This is what you hear and feel before you hit rock-bottom, a place that none of us wish to find ourselves. I was very fortunate enough to fall upon my ‘safety net’.
Have you ever fallen upon a safety net? Do you now the feeling of relief and absolute gratitude, that things are not as bad as they most certainly could have been. Imagine what would have happened if that safety net was not there.
I was relieved, thankful and grateful that I could now look up at what I had done, knowing that I could do something to correct it and find my way out of this place I had created. I knew that now, it was up to me to make amends for the distrust and disdain that I was responsible for. Did you hear that, “I was responsible!” You are responsible for every action that takes place in your life. Only You!
Only you can possibly seek the help you need, and yet often you don’t know what help you need, or why. Sometimes you don’t even know that you do need help. Other times, you know you need help and don’t believe you should ask for it. Worst of all you know you need help, you might even know the help you need, yet you don’t know who to ask or where to turn. I have been here before, so I know this dilemma intimately.
It is very fortunate that at the time here in Canada, when we annually acknowledge mental health awareness, I am reading a book that teaches you that you are not your mind; The Power of NOW, by Eckhart Tolle. The knowledge found in it’s pages has been a long time coming and I could have used it years ago. The fact remains though, that I would not have been receptive to the information because my mind was still in control. It does not have control today, and I will demonstrate why that is. It has been 5 years since I did the one thing that I was previously unable to do. I took a stand and said the two words that are so difficult to leave the lips of a human being. Words that someone dealing with mental health issues might not have been able to utter.
We have an even bigger challenge to our salvation at a time when we need it most. If we are in an ailing state of mind, one where we are forced to prostrate ourselves enough that we may dare to utter these words, nothing should stand in our way. We are in a delicate place because the longer we hesitate, the worse our circumstances become. We have little time to spare, so if we do find those that are willing to help us there is no time to waste.
There should be no debate that this is what we need, and this is the time and place to turn and ask for help. Knowing that, it is just a jump forward because like I said, this is the move that can change your life. Now is the time to act. So, if we have other challenges at this point then we have little hope of survival.
We know what we need in our lives right now. We might even know where to turn, there are people standing by to assist, ready to help us rebuild our lives from the ground up, a helping hand, out of the hole we have dug ourselves into. This is the time for action. Here! Now! Today!
What could possibly hold me up now?
Once you arrive at this point, the point of knowing what you need, and what you need is available to you, then you are the only obstacle standing in your way.
But you want help right, you have decided that, haven’t you?
You have decided that, but your ego has not!
Believe it our not your ego is separate from you. Your mind is not you, it is a tool to be used by you. Yet we know it is powerful beyond measure. How can we compete with that? It is your mind that is telling you that what you need to do is to stay the same. “Do not change me! I am perfect exactly as I am. Why do you want to change perfection?” If this powerful force is telling you that you should stay just where you are, doing just what you are doing, living this same dreadful life that is causing you so much pain, because you are perfect, how do you change that? How can you fight your mind?
Whether you realize it or not, you are not your mind. You can separate yourself from this tool that was only intended for you to be a strong force in your own right. You were meant to be a force to be reckoned with, by utilizing this mind as a CPU, not as the controlling factor. It should not be allowed to control you, but it should be possible for you to use the mind to achieve all your dreams, desires…and demands.
You control the mind, not the other way around. This is a fact, but most of us cannot see it. It is an illusion to our being. It remains hidden from us because our ego takes control at a very early age. It tells you what it wants, what it wants you to be, it wants you to do. It tells you what to do and how to behave. It controls your being. It does so because you allow it.
You allow your mind to take control of your being. You are a human being. That being controls everything. One of the first things I was told by my counsellor when I made the decision to ask for help was, “You need to take back the control.” At the time I did not have a deep enough understanding of what she was saying to me, except that I needed to control my behaviour. I did not know at that time that the ego was in control, as I do now.
Your ego really keeps you in the way of your optimum health & wellness. Your ego is your enemy in this and your ego is a part of you, but it is not you, you can control it. You must learn to control it if you are going to achieve this state of health. You must take control at least one area if you are going to make the powerful statement that is the basis of your recovery.
I am not sure how hard this is for women, but I do know that both men and women struggle with being able to ask for help. Male ego entrenches itself on a very deep level. It is what we refer to as the male bravado, or being macho. We believe that we are superior beings (to absolutely everyone else and every being) on the planet. We are supposed to own our being. But by being, there is no charge, there is just doing, living it as it is, in the moment.
This is what we forget from an early age as the ego takes control. We no longer have control of who we are. That control is taken over by the inner psyche that wants everything to just stay the same. Let just for a moment give you a basic secret of life, it cannot and does not stay the same. Because every atom is constantly in vibration, they are constantly revolving & evolving. Knowing that, could you not find that information useful, thus find it within your power to take control.
You must learn to go with the flow. Take life as it comes without interference from you. That is a hard concept to accept. It is a hard place to achieve for someone who is so bull-headed. I will tell you with absolute certainty that I was stubborn. Quite likely you are too. I was unwilling to accept many facts because I had my own internal beliefs. Those beliefs were not necessarily real, but my mind (ego) believed they were, or rather they told me they were. The ego was in control.
So, you need to be able on some level to start telling your ego what to do and what is real for you. This is the only way you will stand any hope of gaining control of your being. You must humble yourself, before others, but most of all it is your being that you must be humble for. You must drop your guard and forget these stubborn inferences that the ego is telling you. Shout out loud if you must (yes, this helps) the words, “I will not live this way anymore. I am in charge.”
Then and only then can you utter those vital words that are so dreaded to you now. Those words are so hateful to you because they are hateful to your ego. But if you do even one thing, it is to realize that your ego is not you, it is separate from you, then you can realize that you can take control slowly and consistently over time. Taking control of that ego by telling it, “You are not going to control me anymore.” Just so you can utter those words that you so desperately need to say.
This starts with just one step, if you take it, one day you will be whole again. You will be open enough to receive knowledge that today you would consider to be ridiculous or outrageous. The knowledge I have acquired since uttering those powerful, yet humbling words just 5 years ago cannot even compare to the things I have learned in my 40 years prior to taking this vital step.
I am RJ Horner! I know who I am! I know where I am going! I know what I am doing to get there!
I know me. I have found me. That is what I want for every other human being of this Universe. Whether you are unhappy, angry or not, most of us are unsatisfied with something in their lives. It is my mission & purpose to help as many as I can to find satisfaction, by living the life of their dreams
I do this by helping others find their PURPOSE, so they can embrace their PASSION, that they might harness their POWER, so they can develop their PRIDE.
RJ Horner

9 thoughts on “Let’s Talk: HELP ME!”

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