Introducing RJ to DOP!

I am RJ Horner, Host and curator in the Den of Pride.

I’m a Bus driver by profession, because that’s what you do right?  You get a get a good job, get good grades in school, work hard to earn a good living. 

Bullshit!  I’d hardly call it living. 

This is not living, at least not a living I want, much longer.  I am not in it the way I used to be.  It is a living that I am proud of though.  I work for a company that has a strong reputation and does a damn good job in a major metropolis.  It is a job someone could be proud of, I used to be, but that is just not satisfying me anymore. 

I was once happy when I started this job.  I was happy to be working for such a prominent company.  After all, I had earned it.  I had worked my way up, putting in my share of the worst of the lot; working nights, working for $7, $10, $12, doing what it took to earn a living on whatever job I was qualified for.  I earned my right to be here.  I gained my B license, then became a driving instructor for B & E licenses.  I trained school bus drivers.  I was proud then. 

When I first started my job I was proud, and happy to be there, finally I had achieved my place.  Because I was happy, I sent people off on their day with a smile & a kind word.  I truly cared for my passengers and it showed. 

Life was great.  I had a great job, for great pay, with benefits, life insurance and a pension.  I had made it.  I WAS PROUD!  That was demonstrated in my attitude and my behaviour. 

Soon though, something changed. 

Life changed, and it hit me, hard.  Life got really-hard, really-fast.  It began to go quickly down hill.  Soon things would get well beyond my control.  If you stay with me, you will learn more about the strangling, stress-filled down turn that life took on.  I may never tell the whole story, it’s not exactly mine to tell, yet you will learn the struggles and the pain that I went through.  Things got tough, impossibly hard to deal with. 

Life has a way of working itself out, but at the time I couldn’t see that, I couldn’t see it that way.  When you are blindsided, you are blinded by life, by all the terrible and viscous things that are circling your life right now. 

These are your problems and they just won’t go away.  At the time, I was sad, depressed, and angry…very angry.  

I was the one who had changed.  My personality had changed. 

At the time I was a very angry man. 

Angry with my life.

Angry with the world, for putting me there. 

Angry at anyone and everyone…

…except myself, the one person who needed to bare the responsibility. 

That anger would affect everyone and everything around me.  It would take over my life.  It would soon have life falling apart, people were pushing me away and I was in danger of losing the one person who chose to support me through all life’s battles. 

Resulting from life’s failings, my job began to change. 

I began struggling through my job, getting in trouble far too often.  It became a normal occurrence.  I was always being disciplined.  I began to feel disillusioned at work and no longer wanted to be there.  I still don’t, to this day I must say. 

Finding myself dissatisfied and disillusioned, the job and the difficulties in my life began to change me.  I wanted more.  I was bored with my job and angry with my life.  Began to get angry with those around me. 

Why?

This went on for a long time.  Frustrated & angry that I was not living up to my potential, yet not taking any action toward the betterment that I so desired.  Questioning, wondering, stammering through this period of turmoil, but not finding answers because the questions I asked were not worth answering. 

For a long time, I had to struggle with the fact that if I hoped to grow then I would have to make the changes to become better myself.  I would need to work on me, because as my boss put it at the time, “If there seems to be a consistent problem, you might need to consider where the problem is.”

I was the problem!

When I began to understand that, I began to accept responsibility for myself…for who I was.  That was the changing factor in my life. 

Asking the right questions, because I was now blaming the right person. 

ME!

I am RJ Horner! 

I know who I am!

I know where I am going!

I know what I am doing to get there!

Join me in the DEN OF PRIDE!

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12 thoughts on “Introducing RJ to DOP!”

  1. Wonderful site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any
    user discussion forums that cover the same topics talked about here?

    I’d really like to be a part of online community
    where I can get responses from other experienced individuals
    that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let
    me know. Bless you!

  2. First off I would like to say awesome blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind before writing.
    I’ve had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
    I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas
    or hints? Appreciate it!

    1. Thanks for the inquiry. I appreciate the opportunity to add further value. I focus on my topic as a whole, jotting down a few notes. It really is a short outline, written down is best because I have used mental note taking, you will forget.

      Once you feel confident of your thoughts, let the topic transfer to paper. Remember it is your topic & you know it…well enough to tell it.

      Good Luck.

  3. There are some attention-grabbing cut-off dates on this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart. There is some validity however I’ll take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we wish more! Added to FeedBurner as well

  4. Hello! I kknow this is sort of off-topic however I needed to ask.
    Does managing a well-established website like yoiurs take a massive amount work?
    I’m brnd new to operating a bblog but I do write in my diary daily.
    I’d loke to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and
    thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any kihd of suggestions or tips for brand new aspiring bloggers.

    Appreciate it!

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